Posted by Dave on August 17, 2010
riding mower
It has been said that necessity is the mother of all invention. If so, I think the combination of laziness and beer must come in a close second. I think the contraption shown here is the most ingenious thing I have ever seen (ya’ know, other than my computer, the electricity making it run and the human body, yadda, yadda, ya…). I ask you, who has more of the aforementioned combination of necessity, laziness and beer than North America’s redneck?
Clearly, a hard-working, hard-resting, God-fearing redneck without the financial wherewithal to acquire some mad-fangled riding lawnmower contrived this beautiful solution. Genius, I tell you. By employing some gears and pedal-power a standard reel mower is transformed into a veritable gobbler of grass (I am assuming, anyway). And during times of recession this is exactly the sort of ingenuity we need.
Who do you think invented the brick in the toilet tank? Some Yankee do-gooder? (well, maybe.) What about the beverage koozie? huh? Who knows what great discovery the back woods will release on an unsuspecting world. I can barely breathe for the suspense.
Posted by Dave on May 17, 2010
Yeti by Philippe Semeria
The only question in regards to the death of the current green enthusiasm is, “Will the new green fad die via popular adoption, or via wholesale abandonment?” Well, I guess this is the first question, not the only. The second one would be, “What will green living look like when it is either abandoned or adopted?”
An intelligent reader (I know you are out there!) would of course respond, “Well, economical solutions will be adopted while unrealistic and utopian greening will be abandoned.” And while making sense, this sort of reasoning with the American people is redonculous at best and dangerous madness at worst. Just look at corn ethanol, still going strong all these years despite its fairly wide-known economic unfeasibility. And we all know that the milk of the female Yeti could be a financial boon for holistic medicine if someone would just put in the hard work to create a Yeti milking program, or at least learn to synthesize the stuff. WAIT! There is more to read… read on »
Posted by Dave on January 19, 2010
U Car Share, a division of U-haul, has arrived in Salt Lake City. I know, I know. I hate U-haul. Talk about a company with horrible working conditions and nightmarish service. But try to put all that aside. Rather than pump more black smoke from poorly maintained moving vans, U-haul is trying its hand at appealing to the student, the office jockey and the granola urbanite.
U Car Share provides another alternative, alongside riding a bike or taking a bus, to individual car ownership. This sort of thing has been going on for years in romantic locals such as McMinnville, Berkeley, Portland and Madison. But, alas, I have never lived in any of those places. I do, however, live in Salt Lake City. Thus I should be thrilled to have access to car sharing. Yeah! Woohoo. Yep. Hizzaa. Woopty doo. WAIT! There is more to read… read on »
Posted by Dave on December 21, 2009
How can all we progressive, earth-friendly do-gooders ever expect anything we believe in
to happen if none of us can learn how to leverage free market economies? If all granolas are either anti-social, self-righteous and/or too touchy-feely (interpret flakey) to run a business, how the hell am I supposed to find a good pair of hemp cargo pants that fit me?
If I can’t find a good pair of hemp cargo pants that fit me, how am I supposed to rant to strangers on the bus about how evil cotton is? If I can’t rant then how will I devise the next clever and rankling debate point to slay the slovenly, money-grubbing, truth-ignoring participants of our downward-spiraling global economy? WAIT! There is more to read… read on »
Posted by Dave on November 19, 2009
I realize the title of this blog could go in different directions. That’s good for the
Reclining Toilet by Downtowngal
imagination. And a recent toilet snafu has left me exercising my imagination as well. I manage a house that has 5 toilets in it. That’s a lot of shiz, a lot of flushing, and a lot of things to go wrong. A couple of weeks ago the last of my “jet-pack” toilets (you know, the kind in public restrooms that would frighten the piss out of you if you hadn’t just voluntarily evacuated it) finally lost its flush and had to go.
The problem is, I don’t have access to the ranch truck anymore, I live in a city and I drive a Honda Civic. I can fit my tools in the trunk, but not a broken down toilet. Clearly you can see my dilemma. WAIT! There is more to read… read on »
Posted by Dave on September 29, 2009
America’s farmland has long been under siege by suburban development. This is nothing new. What is new is that a cease-fire has been called in most parts of the nation. And a conversation is developing about how to move into this new window of opportunity in a manner that not only restores the balance between urban demand and farm supply, but also helps to reenergize our failing economy heavily dependent on the construction industry.
This summer, Reburbia, a suburban design competition, was held by Inhabitat and Dwell Magazine. The competition set out to gather creative and imaginative ideas on how to go about re-visioning the American suburban sprawl that will almost certainly become our suburban wasteland without intervention. Several of the ideas were great, but one in particular caught my eye. WAIT! There is more to read… read on »
Posted by Dave on August 16, 2009
Spooky. I was just talking about this a few months again with a friend. What if, we said, you could go into a store like say… Walmart, and choose between different products by a uniform “green” rating system? Wouldn’t that be awesome? I mean, anything from a stereo to a box of Pop Tarts would give you a set of simple ratings that would let you know within instants about the natural resources consumed in the creation and stocking of the item.
Well fellow greenies, the commercial deity, Wal-Mart, has done it. And by done it, I mean they are working on it and it won’t come out for at least a few years. WAIT! There is more to read… read on »
Posted by Dave on June 17, 2009
What should our relationship with the dirt under our feet be? Physically, emotionally, spiritually and legally? Legally? Yeah, why not? That is exactly what the country of Ecuador has asked and answered in a new constitution they have drawn up between the land and the people that live on it. Yep. Nature in Ecuador now has rights of its own. I know, I know. It is bad enough, right, that there tree huggers. Now there are dirt and ground huggers too.
The Community Environmental Legal Defense Fund (CELDF), a U.S.-based nonprofit, teamed up with the Ecuadorian government to bring to life this “earth-shaking” and “ground defending” legal document. They have yet to see how, or if, it will work (it was only put into place in Sept. of 2008), but it is kind of mind-blowing to think about. How would the very fabric of our daily lives shift if the ground we walked, worked and lived on had actual, legally binding rights? WAIT! There is more to read… read on »
Posted by Dave on May 22, 2009
Henry ford, you were so close. While the early Ford championed all sorts of methods of making ethyl alcohol, one of those means was hemp. Like I stated a few days ago, one of the magic numbers for hemp is its high percentage of cellulose (the key ingredient for conversion into alcohol or other fuels. Ford created a hemp car that used hemp fibers in construction and ran on ethyl alcohol made from hemp. Momentum was gathering quickly for the natural and sustainable fuel revolution. Then oil, backed by powerful people and upstart companies like Dupont, stormed onto the scene. And you know the rest. Bit of a pisser, but what are you gonna’ do. WAIT! There is more to read… read on »
Posted by Dave on May 21, 2009
You might have heard it by now, but cotton is the devil. I know, I know. I am one of cotton’s evil minions. I am wearing the touch and feel of cotton right now! It is the fabric of our lives. I know.
But that doesn’t make it right. I am in the process of trying to cut my steady dependance on the stuff even thought I come from a family of cotton farmers (on the one side. But don’t worry, we’ve moved on to petroleum products for our fortune. Oh crap! That’s tomorrow’s blog.) WAIT! There is more to read… read on »
