Deeper Down the Hemp Textile Rabbit Hole

Posted by Dave on February 28, 2010

As I metaphorically dug this last week, flipping participles and pretense skyward over my head and up to the sunny surface of my thoughts (and out of the maddening depths of confusion) the revelation suddenly dawned on me while seated and flying with Southwest somewhere over the eastern half of Utah.

I will call upon someone with a modicum of professional talent in Salt Lake City to make the prototype of “One True Pants.”  Yes, the pair of pants that all others will one day bend the knee towards and acknowledge as king.  How could I expect this pair of pants to be found wondering the savannas of retail America?  No, the one true pants has yet to be woven together in the womb of its father’s mind.  Too far?  Yeah, I don’t even understand myself anymore.

Recently though, I found more helpful insight from Eric VandenBerg, the founder of the Hemp Barn.  What will really blow your mind about a place called the Hemp Barn is not that it is primarily an earth-friendly upholstery store, or that it was founded by a young, non-hippy male, but that it is based in Salt Lake City.  I know.  Miracles never cease. WAIT! There is more to read… read on »

Hemp Pants Finally Found, Loved

Posted by Dave on January 9, 2010

In my last blog I chided hippies and granolas for not having the business sense to provide the world (or at least me) with a swell pair of hemp pants 34X34.  Finally I found my savior, well within the bosom of hippie-womping hicks and sensible country folk, Orvis Clothing.

Orvis is the only clothing store with a website that sells hemp pants in size 34×34 for men.  I know.  A powerful statement made by a man wearing cannabis crafted clothing, but true.  Nowhere else could I find my coveted pants.  Orvis had two colors to chose from in 3 different inseams and several waist sizes. WAIT! There is more to read… read on »

“Extended Warranty? How Can I Lose?!”

Posted by Dave on April 3, 2009

I love Homer Simpson, but this is one quote I just can’t get behind.  Am I the only one, or are there others out there that start to carve shivs from salesperson writing utensils when they hear the words “would you like to purchase the extended warranty with that?”

I’ve tried everything as a remedy to the extended warranty.  I have tried buying cheep pieces of crap that can be replaced a dozen times before the expense adds up to the warranty.  I have tried buying top of the line appliances that I figure shouldn’t need an extended warranty.  I’ve tried bribing repairmen, making fake threats and even begging.  None of these has worked, with one notable exception.  (I begged a genius at the Apple Genius Bar to have mercy on me and my two year old imac that needed a new logic board.  He looked suspiciously around to see if this was a Steve Jobs orchestrated sting operation and then kindly agreed to fix it for free!) WAIT! There is more to read… read on »